Getting there is part of the adventure; if you wanted a good parking spot you would have to arrive at 5:00 AM or before. But now leaving would be impossible because the venders have swollen around and the shoppers have crowded the streets. Another interesting part is all the rules of the road aren’t for this day. Stop signs; one-way streets; no parking; or yield to pedestrians; all these types of driving rules are changed to… if you are brave enough or as in my case stupid enough, go ahead. One time, I decided to follow a bus. It sure seemed like a good idea, he is wider so surely I can fit. He has a louder horn so surely people will move for us. He is braver than I so surely people will respect our passing through. No true; he only wanted the most passengers so he drove directly to the market and stopped at a now dead end passage. OK; I have 2 choices; either I stick a for sale sign on my van and hope it sells in 2 minutes or I back it out. Because it’s missing the radio (see TTL Story #2) it would not sell. You may think if the bus has to back out surely you can. It is not quite that simple; most of the people that swarmed in behind us didn’t mind the bus but were quite irritated with me. Another advantage that the bus has is a runner or two. They will be behind the bus yelling dollie – dollie – dollie. My Spanish is not fluent but this could be interpreted as, telling the driver it is clear; keep coming. Or it could be telling the people get out of the way; we ARE backing up. Well I must be pronouncing it wrong or my gringo accent hinders me because no one moves for me. I backed approximately ½ blocks and it took about 10 minutes.
If I am not in a hurry; I will use a parking lot. Once you get into the lot, you wait your turn; one leaves; another gets that spot. The lot attendant will direct you and watch as to not hit another car. As I said my Spanish isn’t that good but I am always listening for new words like undollie or dis-dollie; something to say stop. I am guessing a bit but apparently the attendant has short term memory loss because he will direct a car from behind me to the empty spot. A more realistic guess would be that he gave the attendant a very tangible thank you; some may call it a bribe.
That reminds me of another time riding on a bus and the helper folded a Q10.00 bill (about $1.30) into a very small wad and threw it out the door. I had to ask, the person explained it as a thank you to the police for not stopping us because we were over-crowded. Apparently, it’s not a bribe if the police happen to see money fly out of a bus. I may want to remember this and keep the window open a few inches in case I have to thank someone.
Anyway back to the parking lot, keeping your window open is the same as saying; I want to buy what you are selling. There are movable venders; they carry whatever they are selling – maybe in a backpack – very typical for CD’s or DVD’s; music or movies. They may also be carrying their things in a basket on their head; typical; this would be food or drink; both hot and cold. Of course, some will be carrying their things in their hands, arms, belt, or shoulders. Others would get creative and use a 2’ x 3’ piece of wire mesh full of cell phone accessories; clothes pinned to it. I just mentioned a few things that were offered for me to buy as I am waiting to park; the following will complete the continual list. This is an actual list that I wrote one time to help pass the time and avoid the irritation of the attendants’ memory loss. Extension cord; shoe shine; TV remote; handmade wooden child’s pull toy; banana leaves; windshield wipers; tarps; mirrors; steering wheel cover; peanuts; cashews and the last frozen kool-aid; they call helado which translates into ice cream. Well, it’s my turn for the emptied spot and I must respond to the call of dollie – dollie.
Oh yes; there is another option with no waiting – Norma (Reyna’s sister) taught me this; they have a large empty lot where they will park your car after the hand washing inside and out for Q30.00 ($3.90). The other parking lot cost is according to time but is typical Q10.00 – Q20.00 ($1.30 - $2.60)
You may ask why not use the carwash all the time; well someone forgot to undollie or dis-dollie me. While turning extra sharp to avoid a recently placed vender; I scratched the car on the curb / sidewalk. This particular spot they are more than a foot high.
OK, the car is parked and we are on foot; not necessarily walking but standing. The crowd reminded me of a swarm of mosquitoes; not just their irregular direction of travel; excluding the pushing and shoving and taking my space but also the hum of the mosquito as people are calling to gain anyone’s attention in order to sell their wares. Another reason for the metaphor of the mosquito is the persistenance of these sellers forcing you to think them as irritable and simply want to squish them; the mosquito that is; not the person; however the irritably can be more than bothersome. Ok, aside from the swarm of people / shoppers there is another concern that I must have and be constantly vigilant of and that is not just looking down so I don’t trip or step on someone. Also looking straight and to the side to avoid congestion but I must look up to avoid decapitation. Most permanent venders (someone who plans to be there for the day) will string a piece a plastic overhead to keep them out of the sun or rain. Generally, this is tied off at the 5 foot level which allows 99% of the Guatemalans to walk without concern.
I’ve had the extronary experience to go on a Mediterranean Cruise to celebrate my retirement. One of our stops was Turkey; we took a side trip to visit the spice market; possibly a ½ mile long of exotic spices being sold from bulk to a daily need size bag. This more than delicious aroma and wide passages is a good thing to remember when I am in Guatemala where we have neither. The aroma here is more accurately described as stench. The meat markets consist of a quarter of a cow and they will slice you off some. Some parts that they don’t have to slice because they are sectioned and ready for sale include the stomach; tongue; and a third that I cannot recognize. Also, the chicken markets are anywhere from a live chicken that is in a reed basket with rope netting over the top; possibly another would be the chicken handcuffed together. There are others that have been processed; some venders to prove the freshness leave the undeveloped eggs in the cavity. If you say give me a pound of chicken; they simply toss the carcass on the chopping block; not really more like a stump and whack it with a butcher knife or some use a machete. Typically, there are no identifiably sections of the chicken. This is not 100% true some sections are recognizable; they would be the heads and the feet and some insides that I do not recognize. I am not referring to the neck or the drumstick.
The next vender would have fruits or vegetables; you might think lovely citrus or the sweetness of a freshly cut pineapple. The problem is a citrus pineapple doesn’t smell good. There are also some fruits and vegetables that I don’t know the name of even after attempting to learn. A final combination of smells is the people; some will take care of business where they are rather than pay a Quetzal to use the public bathroom. Frequently, the sellers are ladies with children that aren’t toilet trained and are in need of a diaper change. Typically, Guatemalans are clean; however when you’re surrounded by hundreds; some working very hard causing perspiration. There is also the added aroma of the exhaust from buses and if I can use the term exhaust from the dogs.
The next vender might be the biggest offender of all with fish. You can tell when you are approaching one even before you see it. There will also be one selling Cerviche (cold fish soup) to the other extreme; spicy hot (loosely phrased) tortillas.
A few items that you might find from the moveable venders would be silverware; blenders; mouse poison; soap; machetes; rope; matches; light bulbs; a piece of candy or gum; medicine; belts; roof patching tape; pen or pencil; TV antennae; shoe laces; plastic table coverings; necklaces; hand woven table runners; and Chinese style lampshades.
Slightly different versions of the (permanent vender) is one that will spread a piece a plastic on the ground and display all 200 pair of shoes that he is attempting to sell; another will have sawhorses with boards across to form a table display; there 4 foot x 8 foot space will carry anywhere from several hundred pounds of various soaps or traditional dress called Wupilis stacked 3 feet high; they will have every color combination that you can think of; I’ve termed these permanent displays, however; it a daily set up, sell sun up to sun down, then take down, replenish, and travel to the next city; others will tarp off an area off the back of their pickup truck. Without exaggeration; these ½ ton Toyotas are the strongest trucks made; they can carry a mounded load of pineapple or watermelon; with 2 to 3 foot sidewalls or eggs stacked at least 5 feet high.
A trip to a Guatemalan street market is not something I look forward to similar to shopping at the mall close to Christmas.
Dennis & Sue
