“AS” Shadow or Life
As swift as the dog’s tail; longer than white pines
As defined as a blade of grass; assumed to have no meaning
Its purpose is never completed; as meaningless as money to a rich man
Like a cloud of smoke; or a moonbeam splashing in the lake
Desired in the noon of the day; overpowering or escaping in the night
Fleeting as a unpened idea; or a voided opportunity
As a gifted imagination; uncontrolled as enthusiasm or anticipation
The flowers sharing in the trance they cause or a flower without fragrance
The grass that holds my feet give me excitement for tomorrow
Can you… see…notice…care?
Will you...look…remember…change?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
A story that Dennis wrote about his life
January, 2009
Why am I here? Not so much the question why but I; and another question here. The reason that I ask myself these questions is, if it is not too cool (above 60) or windy, I have some coffee sitting in the back yard. With this I see hundreds of acre sized fields, some with milpa (corn still on the stock); strawberries; celery; carrots; tomatoes; flowers; or other things. There may be a person tending the progress or 2 or 3 cultivating the field preparing it for the next crop. This is with a large blade hoe, with full over the head swings. Sometimes as many as 6 men, women, or children, picking corn or strawberries. Later they inspect as they hull them. All this labor while I am here; in a chair; busying myself with only thought. The first part of time my thoughts were Wow, now more of why. Is it because I am American therefore I get the easy life? Definitely not, I am embarrassed that as American I have these thoughts. Shame on me; shame on us. Is it because I am a Christian; and God said, there is Dennis, and didn’t see the man burdened with a load of wood so his wife could make tortillas? Even bigger shame. If that were true I would not want to be a “Christian.” So why I? And why here?
I will attempt to answer the second questions first. Why here? Maybe because about 1/3 of my life past, we were living “out of the box.” If you know me personally, you know that I am not normal. Now I should be careful because those that don’t know me personally may try to get me help. Don’t bother; I am too far gone.
Some years past I did much personal evaluation and discovered that I didn’t like what was “in the box.” That was me, I must say it wasn’t a magic moment where I got all warm and fuzzy inside instead just the opposite. I cowered in the corner of myself and thought of my hopelessness. This is the part where God did look and say “ah there is Dennis.” “What can I do for him and what can he do for me.” The what can God do for me part would fill these pages. The short version is Love, Grace, Forgiveness, and Opportunity. Love is . . . well I guess that I can’t describe it except to say, it is grace and grace is love and both are God. This understanding allowed me to accept forgiveness. By this time of my life I had more than 20 years of painful living, so I guessed that I overdrew my account. I have since learned that God’s Love, Grace, and Forgiveness are inexhaustible. As I said I am a slow learner so in my mid 20’s to 30’s, I tried to repay God by doing. Well here is the key; God accepts opportunities (service) because you understand His love and grace, not to get His love and grace. So in my 40’s, we started doing because of, not for. Well, that is why I am here, because of an opportunity to live God’s Love and Grace.
So than back to the people with the hoe, firewood, or just plain work. Why am I in the chair? Not to say that I had a silver spoon, far from it; I did work 39 years in a paper mill. Then a disabling illness, (Labrinthithis.) How can this be grace? Because of my illness, I received a medical disability (early retirement) and because of physical therapy most of the disabling is gone. I will try to explain it as hitting an infield grounder and getting a home run.
A lot of people thought we were crazy. Using vacation time for non vacations, giving money when payday was a full week away, helping teens when everyone else gave up on them, filling a peaceful home with strangers and so on the list goes. We call it “out of the box.” After 31 exchange students, the next opportunity seemed obvious. We go to them.
So the here, I just answered. The I is because of more than 30 years ago, understood God’s Love, Grace, Forgiveness, and Opportunities.
By the way, it is not all chair. A few days ago, I unloaded a pick-up or more than a ton of maize (cornels of corn) and moments later a second truck full pulled in. 2 days ago, a knock on the door. Two girls asking about English lessons. They are 12 and 14 years old and had to quit school after 2 years because they could not afford the papers for school. They are now strawberry pickers; there small income goes to the family needs. Our part is to help them advance themselves.
Why? Because I can do an out of the box.
I? We use out of the box opportunities.
Here? It is out of the box.
Too far gone? No, just far enough.
After years of working with some of the best and some of the worst teenagers, now we work with some of the most needing teenagers, and others.
If you have questions about God’s Love, Grace, and Forgiveness, or personal issues that make you cower in yourself, please e-mail or leave a comment on the blog site so I can explain more.
Dennis Santkuyl
Why am I here? Not so much the question why but I; and another question here. The reason that I ask myself these questions is, if it is not too cool (above 60) or windy, I have some coffee sitting in the back yard. With this I see hundreds of acre sized fields, some with milpa (corn still on the stock); strawberries; celery; carrots; tomatoes; flowers; or other things. There may be a person tending the progress or 2 or 3 cultivating the field preparing it for the next crop. This is with a large blade hoe, with full over the head swings. Sometimes as many as 6 men, women, or children, picking corn or strawberries. Later they inspect as they hull them. All this labor while I am here; in a chair; busying myself with only thought. The first part of time my thoughts were Wow, now more of why. Is it because I am American therefore I get the easy life? Definitely not, I am embarrassed that as American I have these thoughts. Shame on me; shame on us. Is it because I am a Christian; and God said, there is Dennis, and didn’t see the man burdened with a load of wood so his wife could make tortillas? Even bigger shame. If that were true I would not want to be a “Christian.” So why I? And why here?
I will attempt to answer the second questions first. Why here? Maybe because about 1/3 of my life past, we were living “out of the box.” If you know me personally, you know that I am not normal. Now I should be careful because those that don’t know me personally may try to get me help. Don’t bother; I am too far gone.
Some years past I did much personal evaluation and discovered that I didn’t like what was “in the box.” That was me, I must say it wasn’t a magic moment where I got all warm and fuzzy inside instead just the opposite. I cowered in the corner of myself and thought of my hopelessness. This is the part where God did look and say “ah there is Dennis.” “What can I do for him and what can he do for me.” The what can God do for me part would fill these pages. The short version is Love, Grace, Forgiveness, and Opportunity. Love is . . . well I guess that I can’t describe it except to say, it is grace and grace is love and both are God. This understanding allowed me to accept forgiveness. By this time of my life I had more than 20 years of painful living, so I guessed that I overdrew my account. I have since learned that God’s Love, Grace, and Forgiveness are inexhaustible. As I said I am a slow learner so in my mid 20’s to 30’s, I tried to repay God by doing. Well here is the key; God accepts opportunities (service) because you understand His love and grace, not to get His love and grace. So in my 40’s, we started doing because of, not for. Well, that is why I am here, because of an opportunity to live God’s Love and Grace.
So than back to the people with the hoe, firewood, or just plain work. Why am I in the chair? Not to say that I had a silver spoon, far from it; I did work 39 years in a paper mill. Then a disabling illness, (Labrinthithis.) How can this be grace? Because of my illness, I received a medical disability (early retirement) and because of physical therapy most of the disabling is gone. I will try to explain it as hitting an infield grounder and getting a home run.
A lot of people thought we were crazy. Using vacation time for non vacations, giving money when payday was a full week away, helping teens when everyone else gave up on them, filling a peaceful home with strangers and so on the list goes. We call it “out of the box.” After 31 exchange students, the next opportunity seemed obvious. We go to them.
So the here, I just answered. The I is because of more than 30 years ago, understood God’s Love, Grace, Forgiveness, and Opportunities.
By the way, it is not all chair. A few days ago, I unloaded a pick-up or more than a ton of maize (cornels of corn) and moments later a second truck full pulled in. 2 days ago, a knock on the door. Two girls asking about English lessons. They are 12 and 14 years old and had to quit school after 2 years because they could not afford the papers for school. They are now strawberry pickers; there small income goes to the family needs. Our part is to help them advance themselves.
Why? Because I can do an out of the box.
I? We use out of the box opportunities.
Here? It is out of the box.
Too far gone? No, just far enough.
After years of working with some of the best and some of the worst teenagers, now we work with some of the most needing teenagers, and others.
If you have questions about God’s Love, Grace, and Forgiveness, or personal issues that make you cower in yourself, please e-mail or leave a comment on the blog site so I can explain more.
Dennis Santkuyl
Greetings from Guatemala (February / March 2009)
We are starting our 6th month; boy time goes by fast. A summary of our experience is change. Originally we assumed to be well into our building project. We haven’t started; partially because my savings is shrinking due to the economy; partially because of the reduced urgency. It’s not a dead idea but for now it’s on hold. Another change is in our tutoring; we’ve had 20 different elementary aged students; some can only attend occasionally because they must work. This makes it hard in lesson planning. Our teenager / adult class is quite diverse; one has a good command of the language and needs only occasionally pronunciation grammar correction. We’ve discovered the others apparently have a higher priority of basic education instead of English. We have 4 ladies from 12 to 22 that have only received 2 years of schooling; so we are teaching English and Math. We assume that this will expand when our Spanish skills will allow it. Mathematics can be taught without advanced Spanish skills. We’ve noticed most people will make a single item purchase, pay for it and then request a second item, pay for that item. If they have money, a third request and so on. We are assuming this procedure of multiple payments is because they cannot add the costs together for a single payment.
We thought about scolding our housekeeper (empleada) because of her missing several consecutive days of work. She surprised us and came much earlier than expected the following day, apologizing for missing work due to the death and funeral of her Father. The hardship this girl faces is overwhelming; her Mother died a few years ago and Dad remarried abandoning his children. She and 1 older and 1 younger brother are living in the family house. She is responsible for 100% of the domestic duties. The brothers work in agriculture. They are now assuming they will lose the house to the widow. If she wants it, she can take it from them.
Another overwhelming experience. We traveled for Christmas to Maura’s house about 3 hours away. After about 1 hour of travel we were in the mountains; we noticed some children on the side of the road waving at us. We assumed it was a holiday greeting so we waved back; another ½ hour and several hundred children, we assumed it’s more than a holiday greeting. We then recognized there were no children near the villages; only in the extreme remote areas and their general appearance indicated poverty. We had nothing with us except for some bread from our neighborhood bakery. We gave that to a young mother; possibly 13 – 15 years old. She was overwhelmed and expressed great gratitude. We felt much different as we drove past several hundred more all enthusailly waving, all hoping to receive something, anything for Christmas.
We’re hoping to collect things to give away to these children with the potential of being a teaching aid; crayons, markers, pens, pencils, paints and notebooks. Maybe cash to cover the expense of shipping the items to Guatemala or giving cash away about $2.00 to $4.00 per family that could provide a nice meal for them.
Another change is we are doing Marriage Counseling. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, the only training that we have is 36 years of experience. The newlywed couple travels about 4 hours one way. This month’s topic is happiness-contentment-joy. Of course, we will explain the source of our joy is God’s love and grace.
February, we traveled to El Salvador to visit our past students and their families. All went well with our trip; we were smart enough to bring a translator. She was a big help when asking for directions [several times]. An afternoon of playing marbles with nieces & nephews, the play area is dirt with ¼ inch of dust. We didn’t play “for keeps” because we only had 4 marbles and 2 rocks. We also visited the family of a “this year” student. The road to her house is s path without trees in the way, and crossing the river, without a bridge. We did ask a boy on horseback if we could make it and he said I think so.
We thank God for these unexpected opportunities and continue to look forward to more opportunities as God provides. Our health is good, and we are (almost) living within our budget. We found a monthly internet plan cheaper than the occasionally day plan, so this will improve E-mail commutations
In His love,
Dennis & Sue Santkuyl
We thought about scolding our housekeeper (empleada) because of her missing several consecutive days of work. She surprised us and came much earlier than expected the following day, apologizing for missing work due to the death and funeral of her Father. The hardship this girl faces is overwhelming; her Mother died a few years ago and Dad remarried abandoning his children. She and 1 older and 1 younger brother are living in the family house. She is responsible for 100% of the domestic duties. The brothers work in agriculture. They are now assuming they will lose the house to the widow. If she wants it, she can take it from them.
Another overwhelming experience. We traveled for Christmas to Maura’s house about 3 hours away. After about 1 hour of travel we were in the mountains; we noticed some children on the side of the road waving at us. We assumed it was a holiday greeting so we waved back; another ½ hour and several hundred children, we assumed it’s more than a holiday greeting. We then recognized there were no children near the villages; only in the extreme remote areas and their general appearance indicated poverty. We had nothing with us except for some bread from our neighborhood bakery. We gave that to a young mother; possibly 13 – 15 years old. She was overwhelmed and expressed great gratitude. We felt much different as we drove past several hundred more all enthusailly waving, all hoping to receive something, anything for Christmas.
We’re hoping to collect things to give away to these children with the potential of being a teaching aid; crayons, markers, pens, pencils, paints and notebooks. Maybe cash to cover the expense of shipping the items to Guatemala or giving cash away about $2.00 to $4.00 per family that could provide a nice meal for them.
Another change is we are doing Marriage Counseling. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed, the only training that we have is 36 years of experience. The newlywed couple travels about 4 hours one way. This month’s topic is happiness-contentment-joy. Of course, we will explain the source of our joy is God’s love and grace.
February, we traveled to El Salvador to visit our past students and their families. All went well with our trip; we were smart enough to bring a translator. She was a big help when asking for directions [several times]. An afternoon of playing marbles with nieces & nephews, the play area is dirt with ¼ inch of dust. We didn’t play “for keeps” because we only had 4 marbles and 2 rocks. We also visited the family of a “this year” student. The road to her house is s path without trees in the way, and crossing the river, without a bridge. We did ask a boy on horseback if we could make it and he said I think so.
We thank God for these unexpected opportunities and continue to look forward to more opportunities as God provides. Our health is good, and we are (almost) living within our budget. We found a monthly internet plan cheaper than the occasionally day plan, so this will improve E-mail commutations
In His love,
Dennis & Sue Santkuyl
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)