True to life story from Dennis

Hello to everyone – Merry Christmas, you may think that I am late with this greeting but actually today is December 25. Happy New Year, which is probably when you will read it, my editor takes a few days. Sue is expecting this to be about “The Market” maybe next month or possibly you may get the “Christmas Story” ”My Kitchen” or another, for now “The Car”.

Let me start by saying that I have great respect for my Guatemala advisors, I do ask for their advice, and most of the time I follow their advice. I also must say that often after receiving advice I ask, why? or what about? or as my friend Steve says, so how is that working for you?

So, I would look in the newspaper classified for a car within my price with low mileage without all the extras. You may be wondering why you don’t want options.

Advice #1

You don’t want to look like you’re rich. The banditos (bad guys) will look for this. Also with my few hours of driving here (a borrowed pick-up) I know that you don’t need cruise control; too many hills, curves, and obstacles (for more information read true to life story #1) and buses. Interminent wipers would never be used; when it rains they are on full speed. Maybe if turbo speed wipers were an option I would want that. Radio, well for the most part that is a maybe want, although I don’t understand Spanish, most stations are too fuzzy to understand if you did and after more than 3 months I haven’t heard a song that I like. So maybe a cassette player; yes they are still used here or a CD player. This is a target item for the banditos because resale is quick (everybody needs one because theirs was just stolen.) The most obvious reason is the guy next to you has his loud enough for the both of you. I thought that I would like remote entry with anti-theft. I used Norma’s (Reyna’s sisters) car that has this bell and whistle and it is an inconvenience. Anytime I hear any of these alarms the person has the keys and buttons but the car thinks he is a bandito so, toot, toot, beep, beep and so on. And to shut it off you must have the secret code (I didn’t.) Also the secret buttons are all mounted in the same spot. And just my luck a bandito would steal my CD or entire car and the guy next to my car would have a working stereo and the police wouldn’t hear the alarm. So what else, power windows, I don’t need, I have time to crank them up or down. A clock, no I don’t wear a watch and I only care about the time at meal time. There are also 2 after market add ons that I will avoid; it is the “go fast” exhaust amplifier and alloy rims with bald tires. I do want (apparently optional) head lights, tail lights, and brake lights (turn signals aren’t used), a horn, I don’t want to be rude and not say hello. Air conditioning maybe but I wouldn’t use it until mid or late January.

Advice #2

Don’t buy from the classified, they give you a fake title, keep a copy of the keys (and secret code for the anti theft) and steal the car after a few days and resell it multiple times. How or what now? We will drive to the Mexican border, there are a lot of cars to choose from and they wouldn’t drive this far to steal it back to resell. OK; Saturday morning; we plan to leave at 4:00 AM. A call to financial advisor about transferring money for the car.

Advice #3

The economy is bad don’t spend so much. OK, buy a little older, a little cheaper, we can make it work. So Friday, I go to the bank to cash a check from my American bank. Well, the Saturday trip to Mexico is off, there is a check clearing wait time of 30 business days. It seems a bit slow but I am in Guatemala. 28 days later, let’s make a plan to go to Mexico in a few days.

Advice #4

You can’t go. They will see you are a rich gringo and rob you before you buy a car. How or what now? We will go to the border without you. Next week, transfer a pile of money to Gustavo’s (Reyna’s brother) bank account; opps no bank in this border city, cash only.

OK, now for the short story. Maybe one cab driver’s brother can sell you a nice car, very cheap. Maura’s brother has a friend that can sell you a car better and cheaper than that guy. Gustavo has a friend that can out do both of them blindfolded and his hands tied behind his back (OK, that is an exaggeration) but you get the idea. Now a new idea, the mechanic will go with you next week to Shela (another city in Guatemala) there are as many cars as the border and less banditos and this city has a bank.

Advice #5

You are the rich gringo, we will go without you. OK, different mechanic, different brother-in-law next week, Oops this mechanic doesn’t have enough special tools to speck the engine, well the other took 10 minutes to find a drill bit, any size smaller than ¼ inch so I am sure there was another reason but by now it didn’t matter what the reason was. I bought a 2000 Mazda Van with cruise, intermittent wipers and air that doesn’t work and a hole in the dash for the radio, CD player.

What an adventure!

We are attempting to set up a service trip for some friends, hoping for some vacation trips from others. I just wanted to tell you my van capacity is somewhere between 7 & 11, if you have a lap that can be used.

All is well. Hope the same for you.

Dennis


Here are some pictures: