At the El Salvador, Honduras border, we offered our Guatemalan I.D. and U.S. passport. They don’t need the passports only our Guatemalan I.D., the strangeness is every time we leave or enter Guatemala the country that we have our I.D. from must see our passports. OK so we leave the immigration office of El Salvador drive 1/10 mile to be stopped by armed military. He wants a scrap of paper 1 and ½ inch square with a rubber stamp on it that we got from clearing El Salvador immigration. I thought it was a receipt to say we paid a road tax. I was curious why ours was yellow and everyone else had white. Maybe ours was yellow because we didn’t pay the road tax, no one asked us to and I didn’t look for a chance to give money away. The guard put our scrap with the others in a zip lock bag and off we go. Over a river to another group of armed guards and they want my scrap of paper that I just gave to the other armed guard on the other side of the bridge. No she must have it; not the other guard. We return to the first set of guards for our scrap of paper so we can give it to the 2nd group of guards. No it’s his and he has it, but she said she wants it, no she can’t have it. But we can’t get past without it and you have a bag full. But why does she want it? I don’t know, why do you want it? I just throw them away. I guess she will throw them away also but I must have one to give her or I can’t pass. This is very unusual. I thought well that fits me instead I said but please may I have one? By now we have all of the guards surrounding our car while others are just driving past without giving their piece of scrap paper. I guess my repeated request works, he did give me one and we were again crossing the bridge. Oh Oh he gave me a white one; I hope this doesn’t complicate things. At the second group of guards I said here is your scrap of paper. She almost had it in her zip lock bag but looked again and said this is the wrong one. Yes, I know I started with a yellow but he gave me a white but it is only a scrap of paper. If you want, I can tear some from the first page of maps, they didn’t help me very much anyway. She then explained she wanted one with a Honduras rubber stamp on it and this one is an El Salvador stamp. We turned around again and crossed the river again going to the immigration office. We get another scrap of paper with El Salvador stamp and ask for directions to the Honduras scrap of paper. The other side of the building of course. OK, 2 scraps of paper both white ones with El Salvador rubber stamp and one with Honduras rubber stamp. Crossing the bridge, I thought I am glad they don’t have a bridge crossing tax. OK both sets of guards are happy and we are on our way. Just one more interesting note; one of the guards had a Green Bay Packers hat on. He had no idea what I was telling him. By the way most of this conversation was in Spanish or in our case Spanglish.
Now in Honduras 2/3 through we come to a big city Choluteca, we are on Central American Highway #1. Halfway through the city, we see a sign for Highway #3 which I did not want. Asking directions; we get an escort from a motorcycle with husband, wife, child, and baby. By the way just as on a bus, my van, or a motorcycle; there is always room for more. They weave us through residential area to the highway and wave goodbye. So do I go left or right, let’s go right (it seemed right to me) and to make sure we will ask “Which way to Nicaragua?” That way behind you or straight ahead – straight ahead is a better road and shorter. A half hour later we are convinced we did wrong, the next turn into a small city; El Trunfo straight through will get us parallel with #1 and we will catch it later, armed with a map and manly confidence what could go wrong? We find the sign indicating El Trunfo turned on this gravel road. 20 minutes later, the road is a dirt / dust road. We did not want to drive on this type of road the remainder of Honduras. The map showed a cross road in this town – go straight – simple enough – but the road ended 2 blocks after city park. We asked for directions, we found some that would show us for $10.00, I was a bit fearful he would send us down a dead end road and rob us – so no thank you and we returned to our dust road. Our thoughts were to continue on #3 until the border and get some official directions.
Just outside the city, we offered a ride to an elderly lady, she told us of a shortcut to the road. The next ¾ hour was filled with an occasional laugh as we thought of the day’s events and swatted an occasional ant.
The border to Nicaragua didn’t want our passport and had no scrap of paper. We are south to far by at least an hour, I would take the road north but there wasn’t one. South a bit more then west until we get to #1 then North a bit, the people at the border said that was our best option. After driving a while, I assumed we should have gotten to our cut off road by now. We stopped at a road side store, if you can’t picture what this is; here is a short description. A piece of plastic tied off a telephone post, street sign, and tree branch stuck in the ground. This particular store’s tree was 20 plus feet off the road so an attendant ran to our car to see what we may want. We wanted directions; she gave them but several times turning back to the others in the store and laughing telling us to go a bit more; I was certain that we were too far but we never passed a paved road, a sign, or a city. We came to a fork in the road and typically I would say “look for the knife and spoon” but our daylight was limited and we had no idea where we were except we could see a volcano. OK so if we put the volcano on our left, we should get to the 3rd of the cut off roads. I later found out, we were looking at the 2nd volcano and we should have kept it on our right. What happened to the first one, I am not sure? Finally we get to a city locating ourselves on the map, it seems impossible but we passed 6 cut off roads and 3 towns. Another 15 minutes and we would be in the Pacific Ocean. One other slight problem, we planned on getting money Cordova’s from a bank at our destination rather than the money traders at the border, we would get a much better exchange rate. We drove through town to find a money machine, the 3rd one worked, while getting gas Sue noticed a sign on the door. You could buy 2 hot dogs for $39.00 it did include a soda. I know when you buy a hot dog at a baseball game they are a bit pricy but this is ridiculous. Our gas purchase came to $970.00. The exchange rate is about 20 / 1. Now we know where we are, we know where we want to go, we still have the map and my masculine intuition although it is less powerful.
Our next stop was not to ask for directions, we were stopped by police. He was concerned as to how fast I was driving; his radar gun showed 111 kilometers per hour that is 68 MPH. The limit; we are not sure of. He said there would not stop us at 100 kilometers. Although I later learned the limit is 80 by asking. School districts are posted and we did eventually see a speed limit sign actually a total of 4 other speed signs. That is not many considering we drove 1,300 miles on this trip. There are none in Guatemala and you can pass as many policy trucks (they use the 4 door Toyota pick up) as you want. My defense was we were lost and I was going fast because I hate to drive at night. He told me I would need a pay a fine of $C1, 400 Cordova’s in a bank on Monday then go the nearby city and get my license. But remember I am lost and will not be near this city again. He then offered us some mosquito spray, there was a swarm but I have fished through worse, and at the time I didn’t think it to be my biggest problem. He told me about a school district that I just went through. I thought it unimportant as school was out 5 – 6 hours earlier and it was Saturday but it helped him to emphasize how bad I was. Yes, I was driving fast but how will I get my license, I am not planning to be in this city; remember I am lost. But you have to pay the fine. Yes I will do that but I must keep my license and remember I don’t like to drive at night. But you were driving too fast and you have to pay the fine. Yes but I am lost and how do I get my license. But there was a school zone and you were driving too fast. Yes but I don’t like to drive at night. But you have to pay the fine. Maybe I will give you the money for the fine and on Monday you can pay the fine for me and I will keep my license because I am lost and not coming to this city again. Another 5 minutes of but and yes buts and a talk with the other policeman. OK he would pay my fine for me on Monday and I would keep my license because I am lost. Assuming they would radio ahead and tell the next set of police watch for a gray van with gringos; I set my cruise control on 99. I think he locked his radar fun on somebody at 111 and didn’t reset it. I know I was driving fast, as you know I was lost and don’t like to drive at night, but not 111. I think more like 130 or 80 MPH. I guess I forgot to correct him maybe because I was busy telling him . . . you get the idea.
OK about 2 plus hours to go and the sun is well below the 3rd volcano. Now I know that I have mentioned; I don’t like driving at night but maybe you don’t know that it is because of the many buses, cars, trucks, motorcycles, and bicycles without lights. Here in Nicaragua that is not the biggest problems. We just discovered that horses don’t have lights also, and they use the same lane as I do while driving with lights, and not all horses are white that you may see them a big easier. Also apparently all cowboys where black, not the most helpful after dark. A bit after passing the 4th volcano although it was too dark to see it we were thinking of a new invention, Lights or at least reflectors for horses. I slammed on the brakes; I thought I saw a shadow of a horse only much bigger guessing also much closer. Sue screamed and then said thanks for not hitting that tractor and wagon full of sugar cane. Without lights or reflectors so I guess my invention could be adjusted to farm equipment not just farm animals. But where would we put the battery or how would we attach the reflectors.
We got there late and unraveled. Because this is a story of the Trip, I can’t tell you about being there except to say it was great.
We had a much easier; all in daylight, trip back except for, you remember the road tax, well we had to pay it. $6.00, I asked why they collect it on the way North and not South? He wasn’t very happy so we just paid and left and we didn’t even get a scrap of paper. We also got a city tax of $1.00 per person; if you pass through the city and don’t live there you pay. Good thing I got rid of the Mother and baby earlier.
Go figure, not a problem at borders except Guatemala, they complained because we have the old style (small paper book) instead of the new style (similar to a drivers license.) We explained we have applied but did not receive it yet. Well maybe OK but I see you have permanent residence status. Yes, because I am retired and living here so I applied and received permanent residence. But your permanent residence has expired. NO, permanent residence does not expire. Yes look at this date in your passport. Yes, this is the day I received my permanent residence. No it has expired. No it’s permanent it cannot expire. No see the date it has expired . . . With a promise that next time in Guatemala City we will get a renewed permanent residence he let us go.
2 last things then the end. We were stopped 20 times or more to check for a stolen car and fake driver’s license. One of the stops, the policemen complained he was hungry and wanted $20.00 to buy supper. Sue gave him a cookie and we left.
Last thing during these 6 weeks, we ate new foods. Sue ate one and I ate 2 very unusual foods. If you respond with the correct answer, you will get a gold star. I will give you a clue neither of us ever thought of eating the first mentioned and it is very assessable everyone except maybe in the Arctic; the second well let’s just say it is very unusual.
Dennis and Sue Santkuyl
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